0 – 60 in 2 seconds flat.

Monday mornings. Everyone dreads Monday mornings. Well, most everyone. I wasn’t dreading it. I was happy to be getting back to work after the weekend. For 2 reasons.

1) I am used to a house full of kids, chores, errands, playing, wrestling and going for walks with the fam. I don’t have that right now. So I got pretty bored this weekend.

2) I really enjoy what I do.

So Monday morning I walk to work, as I usually do. I get to the office and get prepped for the day, as I usually do. Our boss asks us who is going to be driving the truck for the day. I don’t hesitate and jump at the opportunity, as I usually do. We saddle up and head out on the road.

Our first file is a call from the previous week. A car parked on the sidewalk. I originally wrote the warning asking the RO (registered owner) to remove the vehicle from the sidewalk within 48 hours or it would be towed and impounded. This lucky duck got 48 hrs PLUS the weekend. As we turn the corner to the street we start taking bets to see who thinks it has been moved or was still there. My guess was that it would still be there. I was right.

We called to see if the police had any “interest” in the vehicle. They did not. We towed. Well, we didn’t tow, but we called a company to tow for us. After a short few minutes a big tow truck shows up, hooks up and drives away. The vehicle gets sent to our impound yard and the owner has a specified number of days to pick it up or we get to trash it.

I don’t know what it is about Monday’s, but that was one of the easiest files for the day. The next file we attend is a call in about a stray dog. The caller found a dog and asked us to come pick it up. As we show up the caller is waiting in the yard and the dog is confined. Before we are even parked the caller lets the dog loose. Said dog runs in front of the Bylaw truck I am driving. Thankfully, by this time I am practically crawling as I am about to stop. No injury to the dog. We ask the caller to confine the dog. They looses their mind. Goes off ranting about our attitude and professionalism. We explain that it was not safe for the dog to be let loose before we were ready. Theuy hoot and hollar about calling our supervisor (who was with us), getting us written up and the whole 9 yards.

I jump out of the truck leash in hand. The dog runs right up to me tail wagging and I could nearly see a smile on its face. I leash it up and walk it over to the back of the truck. The dog is so excited to go for a ride. It jumps up but can’t quite make it so I assist getting it’s hind legs up. Then it sees the cage. Nothing crazy, but it needed a little coaxing to go in. I managed with no issues. As we start to leave, the caller is taking pictures. We can assume a call will be made.

After dealing with the dog and getting it settled into its new digs for the day we turn our attention to a parking call. We show up on site and issue a notice. We drive away. As we drive we see someone shovelling snow from their yard onto the street. We stop (as we have before with multiple other residents) and my fellow officer hops out. He explains to the home owner that we just want to make sure that they know shovelling the snow from their property onto city property (the road) is not allowed and is a violation of the city bylaw. They looses their mind. Yelling at us stating that we put the snow on their yard in the first place and we are bullying them. So on and so forth. We aren’t ticketing you. Just a friendly reminder. Clean it up. They don’t want to clean it up. We explain that if they don’t clean it up they will be issued a ticket. After asking and finding out how much a ticket would be, they storm away. We politely say we will be back to check on the road. “I’m sure you will be!” they reply. Yep. We will be.

Next file. Parking in front of a fire hydrant. We get there and no one is in sight. An easy ticket perhaps? WRONG! As my fellow officer is writting the ticket for this infraction, the owner comes out. They loose their mind. Hooting and hollering about only being there for 2 minutes. Look here, we’ve been sitting here for 5 minutes. I’m calling you out. You’ve been here longer than 2 minutes. We explain that there is a no tolerance attitude for parking in front of a hydrant. Ticket issued. Probably a dispute coming.

We decide to go drive past the snow on the road property. As we pull up, the owner is taking pictures of the snow on the road. It’s not been cleaned. Though they are out attending to the snow.. in a way. We don’t stop. I keep driving. A few houses down from that one we find ANOTHER vehicle parked in front of a hydrant. I turn around to park on the opposite side of the road. Our friend from the snow on the street property sees us, assumed we were watching them and starts to clean the road. Easy win for us.

I jump out of the truck to ticket this other hydrant vehicle. I start whipping up the ticket. Before you can say, “You’re getting a ticket for parking in front of a fire hydrant”, the vehicle owner is coming out of their house. So I say, “You’re getting a ticket for parking in front of a fire hydrant”. They loose their mind. Yelling, “I’ve only been parked here 2 minutes!”. It’s 4 p.m. you picked your kids up at 230. It took you 5 minutes to drive home. Don’t lie to me. Then they are yelling and screaming causing a scene about how there is no where to park. I ask, “What about your driveway?” They say that their kids play there. I say, “What about across the street?” They say they are dealing with some family issues. Wha…? So you can’t park on the other side of the street? I’m done arguing. I write a ticket.

We get back to the office at the end of shift and I have a voicemail message on my desk phone. I listen. Its from an earlier call during the day from someone who we left a notice while they were at work to state that they were playing music too loud during the night. No ticket. Just a notice. They loose their mind. It was the most colorful, explicit message that could have make a pirate feel embarrassed about. We called back. No answer.

That being said, after this long day full of name calling, yelling and unkind statements – I kind of take enjoyment from these sort of situations. I find it entertaining. Is it just me? I think maybe. Talking on the phone with my wife that night, she asked if it made me feel any negative feelings towards the position. My answer, “Not at all. I laughed so much today!”

People were so fired up. Everyone was! 0 – 60 in 2 seconds flat! Even people who didn’t get a ticket.

Tuesday was a bunch of paper work. No one wants to hear about paper work. BORRRIING! The most exciting thing would probably to talk about how many WPM I can type. GEEK TALK!

Moral of the story, “Try to find enjoyment in the situation. The good, the bad or ugly.”